A small girl splits open a juicy orange, dropped ripe from the grove. The sun is risen to its zenith, and her father, all weathered-skin and cracked palms, watches from a worn deckchair. The sky is an improbably deep blue, one of those really special days where you can’t look up or down, left or right, without seeing something wonderful. The father knows his girl is the most wonderful of all. As she enjoys the orange, the fruit of a complex array of natural systems and not a little hard work from him, he wonders about her future. What lies ahead for her, beyond the grove?

Wind catches her hair and she laughs, and turns back at him with a grin. He could write every day for a thousand years, study with the greatest tutors of many generations, and never quite be able to capture what he feels inside when he sees that smile.

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  1. Love the first sentence. Specific details and you are placing me somewhere. Strong. I think the girl her smile could be approached that way, something in her look that captures brightness of youth or the wonderful the father feels. Yes, show me wonderful is what im trying to sayu.
    Also the tutor sentence doesnt resonate with me for that character who i see as a simple grove farmer. i envision happiness for him more simple/concrete, ie connected to his life – ie an abundant crop or reliable rain or a bright red pickup or the mortgage paid off. Unless he is growing hemp lol. Like to hear more of him/their relationship and her eventuual leaving. Like this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks, Kathy, I really appreciate your detailed feedback. I agree that I could show the wonderful more in this one, and writing about when she leaves is a fantastic idea. You make an interesting point about the father character, but I like to think that he could still be a highly literate and well-read person!


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